(late posting for Sunday, June 7, 2009)
Isaiah 6:1-8; Psalm 29; Romans 8:12-17; John 3:1-17
(Sermons to myself)
I hear voices. Sometimes I think I am going crazy, which is pretty “normal” for most people who are conscious of the various internal dialogues taking place within one’s head. I hear voices. Lots of them. Some of them have names. Some of those voices I try to squelch. Those only tend to try harder to be louder, to be heeded. Some voices are patiently waiting to be noticed, needing encouragement; diminished are they by the loud and boisterous ones. I have learned that the loud, demanding voices while heard easily, need to be disregarded more often. The most beneficial voices are more often the soft or even silent voices that lay hidden beneath the raucous shouting of detractors. Always there is the uncertainty as to which voices will not only be heard, but heeded.
The appointed scripture passages for this day are full of voices. There is a familiar sound to these voices, like voices on the phone needing no introduction. We know the sound by heart. I have heard them before.
Isaiah, the prophet and priest of God during the reign of some mighty kings of Judah, not only heard voices, he also saw visions. The reading for today is the vision, with the voices, that describe “the call” of Isaiah to be a servant in God’s service. Isaiah hears the voices of angel seraphs in flight, calling antiphonally to one another, declaring the holiness of God. These voices are for all who have ears to hear. These voices were so loud and powerful they shook the foundations of the huge temple, like a magnificent pipe organ shakes a whole church building. These voices were not to be ignored.
In typical fashion, these amazing voices are interrupted by Isaiah’s own internal voice, “Woe is me! I am lost!” I’m not worthy. I am nobody to be part of this! Get me out of here! I-don’t-want-to-see-this-because-it-might-require-something-of-me. The internal, detractor voice often attempts to avoid the awesomeness of what is. From the internal vantage point, they can sound as loud and as earth shaking as the angel voices.
Then the seraph voice speaks directly to Isaiah as it cleanses Isaiah’s mouth of it response. “Now this has touched your lips, your guilt has departed and your sin is blotted out.” I wonder to what degree Isaiah was a guilty man needing forgiveness, or if his internal, self-prosecutor needed to be cleansed and blotted out. I wonder if his inner voice was the guilty one, accuser of the innocent, which needed to be extinquished so that Isaiah was free to hear the more important voice of God.
Once the accuser voice is gone, Isaiah hears the voice of the Lord asking, “Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?” Only after his own internal voice of negativity was removed, was Isaiah able to hear God speak, God invite, God wonder. Only after his inner voice was still enough could Isaiah engage in conversation with God and respond with his true self. “Here I am; send me”. Isaiah is no longer negating himself, nor is he filled with his own ego needs or demands upon himself or God. Clarity of voices allows clarity in response. Do with me as you will.
In the story of Nicodemus’ visit to Jesus there is a similar dialog, although the writer of the gospel turns this into a nighttime visitation rather than a daytime vision. Nicodemus is a good man, a religious leader, open to listening for God even in unlikely places. Unlike Isaiah’s internal voice blurting out guilt, Nicodemus’ voice offers confession of his true belief, that Jesus is from God, that God’s realm was evident in Jesus. Jesus’ response, often taken to be telling Nicodemus where he is wrong and what he needs to do, could be heard instead as a voice of comfort and encouragement. Perhaps Jesus response to Nicodemus was that he recognized Nicodemus could see God in him (Jesus) because he had already been “born from above”.
Then Nicodemus’ internal voice that messes up the truth spouts off and hooks onto debate rather than accepting Jesus’ simple recognition of Nicodemus’ closeness to understanding. That unconvinced voice quickly responds, “How?!” Jesus gently responds, his voice one of encouragement. “Don’t be astonished”, this is no big deal, its like the wind, the spirit that moves and blows and cannot be pinned down, but is present. The internal disbelieving voice won’t let it go and again spouts off, “How can these things be?” Jesus voice again implies, ‘Come on, Nicodemus, you are intelligent, don’t give-in to this internal debate. You are a leader and wise man, and this is not difficult.’
Two good men, noted men of scripture, battle the internal voices within; the voice of the holy and their own internal resisters posing as defenders but in reality are merely accusers, hoping the listeners will avoid God’s voice that calls one to risk being more.
When we allow that spirit, that breath of God, to engage life within us, we are then children of God, led by the Spirit as opposed to the flesh, the failty of this world. (Roms. 8:14) Led by the Spirit and the voice of God we are not to fall back into slavery to the internal voices of our inner world or the voices in the world around us. We are invited to pay attention to the voice of the holy one in and all around us, and to allow that voice to give voice to our own, crying out, “Abba! Daddy!” The Spirit of God in us speaks of our relationship, speaks of our closeness to God, speaks in our behalf. I ask myself during those internal dialog sessions, who is this speaking? Is this the voice of my inner accuser? My ego voice? The voice that would diminish rather than open to grace? Is this the Spirit speaking? the voice of God? Who will I heed and who will I block? Open my ears clearly. Open ear of my heart fully.
So many voices. Pray for wisdom to discern, to listen, to heed.
Your voice, O God, shouting, thundering, full of power, awesome, and sometimes unnoticed, is everywhere. It is over the water, in the heavens, among the trees, within your creatures, in the dawn and in the sunset, in the spring bird song and fragrant bloom of the earth, buzzing with sweetness.
Everywhere your voice declares, “Glory”, calling out to me.
Help me to hear. Open my ears. Shut out the voices that detract. Let me hear clearly your song in me. And hearing, may I like Isaiah, be a willing servant to heed your voice. Amen
(Psalm 29)
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