What are you seeing?

Easter John 20:1-18

What we see is largely dependant on what we anticipate seeing. Over time our eyes slip into the habit of seeing what they are conditioned to see. If we are to look for something new, chances are we will have to be intentional to do so.
After this past week of warm weather and sunshine as I look out my front window onto the garden I see one last snowplowed pile of snow lingering in the shadows of the undergrowth. With a brief glance one sees all the debris of winter, last year’s leaves matted or wedged in crevices. It doesn’t look much different than November with trees stripped bare. Looking for signs of spring and new growth, however, instead of the debris and dead remains of winter, one can see life sprouting everywhere. It depends on what you are looking for, on where one chooses to focus their eye. To some degree, we see what we want to see; we see a glass half full while another sees the same glass half empty.

The disciple John, who is credited for writing the Gospel by his name, refers to himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved. Much of his account of Jesus, especially this Easter story, is about seeing and believing what is seen (see also 20:19-31).
Look with me again at this passage of the first 18 verses. Nine times there is reference made to seeing or looking (vs 1, 5, 6, 8, 11, 12, 14, 15, 18).

It was “dark” when Mary Magdalene came to the tomb. Can you imagine being in a graveyard in the dark and finding an open tomb? I imagine it might be pretty scary. It says she “saw that the stone had been removed” and by her statement to the disciples, there must have been enough light and enough courage that she peered through the darkness to see that nothing was there… no body. So did she run in fear, in anger, or in despair to tell Peter and John that there was no body? She saw no body. So the 2 disciples come running. I wonder if it was still dark or if there was more light to see by. John beat Peter and “looked in”. He saw strips of cloth. Was he too frightened to go inside? Then Peter arrived and “went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen” as well as other neatly folded cloth. Is that all that Peter saw? Then John finally went inside as well….perhaps courage in numbers. In his own words about himself John says, “he saw and believed.” What did he see? What did he believe?

At this point in John’s Gospel story, there has not been any word from an angel or Jesus indicating resurrection. Even John writes that the disciples “still did not understand that Jesus had to rise from the dead”. Did John and Peter see simply that there was no body, just cloths? Is what John “believed” that some one had stolen Jesus’ body? Did he “believe” that this was yet another “unbelievable”, incredible, further piece of nightmare continuing on into day? What did their eyes see and tell them?.... signs of death? signs of theft? OR could they, in this same empty space see signs of endless possibilities? signs of mystery? signs of God at work? signs of wonder? We don’t know. We only know, according to the story so far, that they left and went to wherever it was that they were staying. We don’t know what they were believing about what they saw, or failed to see.

Mary, stayed behind alone, with blurred vision from tear-filled eyes. In typical fashion when something is unbelievable we have to see it again, and so, again, she looked into the tomb just to see if she overlooked something the first time. And yes, this time she sees 2 angels, all in white, clear as day, sitting where Jesus’ body should have been, asking her why she is crying. What a silly question to ask anyone in a graveyard. What is more surprising is that Mary is not surprised to see angels nor to hear them talking to her. Maybe she didn’t see clearly or perhaps only later on figured did she figure out that they were angels. She turned from them and scripture says “she saw Jesus”… but she did realize that it was Jesus. How typical for us all. Mary was looking for a lifeless body. She was not looking for a standing, talking, alive person. Tear-filled eyes or not, she saw Jesus but did not see Jesus. Even Jesus’ voice isn’t enough for recognition when he asked her who she is looking for, because she believed he was dead. It is only when he says her name, "Mary", that Mary both sees and hears clearly.

What is it that opened her ears and eyes? Was it the sound of her own name? Was it the inflection of his voice? Was it a change in her vision? Early Christian mystics glean from Jesus’ own teachings that perhaps we need a “third eye”, an inner eye, an inner vision, a Spirit-of-God-infused seeing that allows us to see more fully, more clearly, more deeply what truly is. Remember it was Blind Bartimaeus who could clearly see through his blind eyes who Jesus was while the religious leaders couldn’t see God in him. While our eyes can deceive, the inner eye can see truth.
After all the “looking” and seeing, finally Mary’s eyes were opened to see the possibilities of God, of life, of resurrection, of the impossible.

And so I have to ask, “What am I looking for?” “What am I expecting to see?” “Do your or my expectations condition what one sees and doesn't see?” As I look at life, my life, my community’s life, my church’s life, our world, what do I see? Do I see “no body?” or do I see possibilities? Am I looking for all that’s wrong? Or can I see all that is good and possible? Do I see signs of death and decay and winter’s debris? or do I see changing seasons, spring, potential, mystery, and life? And when I listen to this story from long ago, what do I see and hear? Can I hear my own name called out and see resurrection life here and now around me? Can I see this resurrection story fresh and new today, in 2010? Am I blinded by my own hopelessness that I can’t see God’s life right in front of me? Do I become ensnared by the losses, the death, the problems and disappointments, all that is not good and fair and right with the world, that I can no longer see that the Body of Christ is still alive and present and vital even in the midst of graveyard experiences? What do I believe about what I see?

St. Paul, whose letters to the churches were written before the Gospels were written, never writes about an empty tomb. His writing doesn't focus on an absent body, but rather on a living presence. Henri Nouwen also writes of his own conditioned responses to see and hear mostly the troubles and problems and has to make the conscious choice to look for and listen for the living presence and the life and hope that surrounds us in a multitude of ways if only we choose to see what is before us through eyes of grace and faith.

What we see is largely dependant on what we anticipate seeing. To some degree, we see what we want to see. What are looking for? Are you looking for what is missing? Or what is present? Do you look for God to be absence or expect to see God in every moment? Do you see death in every turn or the endless possibilities and ways in which life overcomes death?

One more thing about this story, Mary wanted to hold onto Jesus, to have him as he was, to reclaim what was. But he told her not to hold onto him, that things were changing, that she needed to look and see and be different than the past. Life was present, as always, yet all things were changing. He invited her to tell what she saw, and she did. “I have seen the Lord!” How is your looking? Your seeing? Your vision? Are you seeing the living Body of Christ? Or do you see “no body”? Do you see death or life? A tomb or empty space that lends possibilities? And where will your seeing take you?